When the Pieces Fit

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2010-05-10T05:30:00.000-07:00

I think I may be moving...

www.leighawen.tumblr.com

It seems really easy to use. Check me out if you like!

Making Cash with Online Survey Panels

2010-01-05T08:08:00.000-08:00

Fishing for Money- image by shuttermon

I posted a new article on Suite 101 about making a bit of extra money giving opinions through online survey panels. I thought I'd expand on this a little and offer a personal opinion about each of the sites I've been involved with.

Check out the article for the background information and helpful tips if you're interested:
http://working-solo.suite101.com/article.cfm/online_survey_panels

Lightspeed Consumer Panel

Surveys are e-mailed to members that sign up and open panels are also posted on the website itself. I have pretty good success with this panel. One of the frustrations with taking surveys online is the fact that you may spend a few minutes trying to qualify for a survey and fail every time because you don't fit their specific demographic. I've been a member of this panel since August 2009 and have a total of 2775 points. Points can be converted into anything from $1 Amazon.com e-certificates for 330 points to magazine subscriptions, gift cards and paypal deposits. Of course, the higher the item price, the more points it takes.

Opinion Outpost

Surveys are e-mailed to members. If you don't qualify for the survey, you are offered a consolation prize. You can choose a chance at a $50 instant win, a chance to give money to charity (very small amount) or an entry into a $750 sweepstakes. I have never won any of these prizes. Members earn points that can either be converted into Amazon.com e-certificates or a check. The minimum threshold is $5.00. I've been a member since October 2009 and have earned 530 points. It takes 50 points to reach the threshold so this is definitely a good panel to belong to if you're looking to earn points quickly.

Global Test Market

Members of this panel are also e-mailed available surveys. Surveys are either worth points or sweepstakes entries. I've earned a total of 1545 market points since joining this panel in July 2009. Market points are worth .05 per point and once 1000 points are obtained, members can request a check. Although it took a while to meet the threshold, it was really nice to get that $50 check in the mail.

Toluna

Toluna is another panel that offers members points for doing surveys. Members can also earn a small number of points for being active in the Toluna community. This means that members can post questions or opinion polls and answer other members' polls to earn points. I have yet to earn points in this way. Toluna recently raised its threshold for payment by check or paypal to 60,000 points. When the threshold was lower, I received one check for $10, but have not yet met the threshold since the change. Toluna surveys seem to be difficult to qualify for and don't offer that many points for such a high threshold.

Surveyhead

This panel rarely sends out e-mails and I generally check their site to see what's open. This panel lists available surveys including how much they are worth and what the chances of being allowed to participate are. This is different because members can choose not to even attempt the surveys with a low chance of qualifying so you don't waste your time. I've been a member since October 2009 and have not yet met the cash-out threshold of $25.00. It seems to take a while, but I don't check the site everyday for new opportunities. I also tend to get disqualified pretty often.

NPDOR and Sweepland

NPDOR administers the surveys and members earn points to play in Sweepland.

I'm not sure why I still belong to this panel. I rarely get surveys and although members earn a lot of points, they can't be converted to cash or prizes. Instead, members choose to enter their points into a drawing for different prizes. The more points you enter, the better your chances for winning. I've probably earned around 2000 points and have yet to win anything. I've been a member since October 2009. Prizes change each month and vary from cash, digital cameras, exercise machines, etc. The one reason I probably still belong is the excitement of the unknown. It's like playing the lottery. There's always hope, I guess! Plus they have excellent customer service. I wasn't awarded my points properly and I was given 500 extra points for my trouble.

Tips to Maximize Earning Potential

I think the best way to earn a bit of money compleying surveys is to only spend your time focusing on 2-3 survey panels. It can take a lot of time and energy filling these surveys out and you want to focus on the ones that offer the best rewards for your effort.

I've never personally paid to be offered survey opportunties, but I hear that those types are out there. I don't really see the point since there seems to be an abundance of free opportunities.

Also check out SurveyPolice.com for reviews, ratings and complaints of many survey panels.

Most sites offer a bonus for referrals so that's another way to get some extra points- refer your friends!

Thanks and I hope this was helpful!

2010 Thoughts and Resolutions- Happy New Year!

2009-12-31T10:15:00.000-08:00

I am completely buying into the new year's resolution making idea for a change. 2010 will be a great year. It has to be! After a year full of financial problems, marital strife, babies with heart problems, moms with breast lumps and seemingly endless sickness, my little family is ready for some peace, love and of course, happiness.

I want to be a better mom and I know that they key to this, for me anyway, is patience. I need to be patient with my wonderful, beautiful, albeit challenging children.

I want to remember that childhood is a special and fleeting time. It's not a time that parents and children should simply "survive".

I want a childhood for my boys that I never had. One that is celebrated, maybe even somtimes celebrated quite loudly. I don't want them to grow up and look back only to realize that their childhood was something they had to "get through" so they could get on with life.

I need to remember that youth is transitory. My own early youth was over before I even felt it. I'm still relatively young and I should act it.

I need to be a role model for my children. Children sense tension and unhappiness and as wrong as it is, oftentimes they blame themselves for a parent's unhappiness. I have to break that cycle.

2009 was full of challenges that nearly bowled me over. I'm sure 2010 will have its own unique set of challenges, but my own mindset has to be different. I need to change my karma, change my family's karma.

I'm still working on figuring out how to do that. Let me know if you have any suggestions.

For now, I think I'll just focus one thing at a time; developing and maintaining Patience in my household.

Happy 2010!

The Not-So-Magic Bullet

2009-12-30T19:45:00.000-08:00

I've been wanting a Magic Bullet blender for a while and finally got one for Christmas! Well, I actually got it for myself before Christmas- merry Christmas to me!

I've been so excited to use it and imagined the wonderful, nutritious smoothies I'd drink everyday for breakfast. I imagined making homemade baby food and all kinds of other great things. Unfortunately, my imaginings didn't live up to real life.

After about 5 smoothies, my Magic Bullet seemed to get stuck on the lock mode. If anyone has one, you know that a great way to crush the ice is to use the 'pulse' mode. Well, my little processor kept on going even when the 'lock' mode was disengaged. Even as I tried to pull the cup out, it kept on chugging.

I ended up unplugging it and trying again. Same thing. Then I realized that the base had eaten away at the rubber bottom of the blade because it was stuck on lock mode which meant that my blade was now essentially useless.

So far, I haven't gotten any response from my e-mail to customer service. I even bought a new blade and re-read the instruction manual in case the cause of the problem was user-error. I cleaned the base to ensure that it wasn't sticky and stuck on lock mode. Even after all that and an extra $15 for a new blade, it still gets stuck!

So...no nutritious, delicious smoothies for me this new year. :( I won't be buying another Magic Bullet any time soon. At $50 a pop plus the replacement blade, it's been a tremondous hassle and a waste of money.

Shoe Envy

2009-11-01T14:17:00.000-08:00

I've been searching for the perfect pair of shoes for months now. I've had the picture in my mind of exactly what I wanted: mid-heel, loafer type look, brown. And I've been unable to find that pair of shoes anywhere! Even after purchasing a pair, I've gotten them home only to realize that they're not exactly what I want. I may be black-listed for returning too many pairs of shoes!

So after months of searching in store and on-line, I found the right pair. These pretty, little Enzo Angiolini pumps. Medium warm brown. Squared-toe with a gold buckle. Perfect heel height. So I ordered them from Overstock.com.

Big mistake!!

My shoes come in the mail and I anxiously try them on. Very tight, very uncomfortable. I think, "Hmmm, maybe my feet are swollen from walking all day. I'll try them on tomorrow." Unfortunately, tomorrow comes and the shoes still don't fit. They probably wouldn't have fit even if they were a 1/2 size bigger.

So I look into the exchange policy at Overstock.com. They don't have one. Even Big Lots has an exchange policy! I have to return the shoes and pay 8.00 in shipping/handling Then buy another pair while waiting for the return to show up on my credit card and pay shipping for the new pair.

Way too much work for one pair of shoes. I value stores with great return and exchange policies. I'm a repeat Kohl's customer because of their excellent customer service and return/exchange policy.

So my pretty, little pumps are simply gracing my closet while I figure out how to stretch them out.

And let me tell you, that will be the last time I buy shoes or clothing apparel from Overstock.com!

Support Aiden

2009-10-09T19:14:00.000-07:00

Please check this website out...

http://www.supportaiden.com/

If you're so inclined and are looking to renew magazines, it would be great to do it through this site where 40% of revenue goes to the family.

www.helpaidennow.com

Thanks!

Is this child ever going to stop screaming?

2009-09-30T18:35:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in a while. The reason is 1) Both of my children have lost their minds and have been out of control and 2)Fall TV started!!

I don't know why, but when my youngest was born, I kept thinking, "Okay...once's he's 6 months old things will be easier." Well, he's 7 months old, almost 8 months and things are far from easy. I can't even see easy way off in the distance!

My older son is 27 months old. He is in the throes of what I assume to be the 'terrible twos'. My younger son still isn't sleeping through the night, still doesn't have a schedule and still is extremely active. I know I'll kick myself for saying this, but I wish he would just crawl. I'd rather chase him around then listen to him cry and not be able to figure out that he's frustrated because he can't reach something he sees across the room!

I follow the Baby Whsiperer books' advice and it worked wonders with my older son, but C is just not interested in being 'Shhh'd and patted' to sleep. He is also seemingly not interested in any form of schedule whatsoever. He does, however, thoroughly enjoy that last night-time bottle at 10:30 pm that the books refer to as the "dream-feed". I was hoping to be done "dream-feeding" so that mommy might be able to go to bed at 10 pm, but C is quite determined that he requires those extra 6 ounces.

So at this point, neither child is sleeping. I'm in the middle of a world filled with temper tantrums, teething, runny noses, crying fits, seperation anxiety and night wakings with no end in sight! Plus I have to say my dear, clueless husband is just that...completely oblivious and clueless to the daily stressors.

My sanity is hanging on by a skinny thread, but right now they're both sleeping. *big sigh* For now... *Bigger Sigh*

OK, that's enough mommy complaining...gotta go watch Glee! A new guilty pleasure!

A Letter of Apology

2009-09-08T09:21:00.001-07:00

Dear Fellow Mothers,

This is my note of contrition. I have been judgemental, but it stemmed from a simple lack of understanding as to what it takes to be a mother. Now that I am a mother, I understand. Oh, how I understand.

*To all the mothers out there with screaming, tantrum-throwing children in the toy aisle at Wal-Mart: I now feel your pain. I'm sorry for snickering beneath my hand.

*To all the mothers who arrive at work with spit-up on their shoulders, hair in a pony-tail and no makeup on- I'm sorry for giving you that sad, sympathetic smile like I understood what it took to simply get out the door in the morning. I really do understand now. It truly is a miracle when I can get to work on time, much less have concealer and mascara on.

*To all the mothers out there that let their toddlers watch television; I admit I judged you and and felt sorry for your children who would surely be damaged by excessive TV time. I now know that a little bit of Elmo won't hurt anyone.

*To all the mothers who I have observed offering candy in exchange for a moment of peace; something I said I would never do. I get it now. Sometimes peace and quiet is worth just about anything.

I would like to apologize for all of the above acts and any others that I forgot to acknowledge. When you see a frazzled mother looking like she's holding on by a single, solitary thread...send positive, happy thoughts her way. That woman might eventually be you someday.

:)
Leigh Anne

Things I've learned from working with people with disabilities and their families...

2009-08-30T10:23:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd remain in the same thread and continue writing about my job and working with people with disabilities. Here are a few things I've learned in my 10 years...

Everyone has a gift. Some are just more apparent than others.
Joy can be found in the everyday part of life.
Being called "special" isn't all that special.
Dancing will always make me feel better. Always.
People will stare. Who cares? Just wave at them.
Parents with children with disabilities are the best advocates.
Behavior plans are supposed to teach appropriate behaviors to the person with a disability, but many times staff really should have a behavior support plan of their own.
Don't let people write you off just because you're different. They will try.
It's not about another person's disability, it's about their will and desire to live their life to the fullest.
Every person is unique. They are not simply their disability or their label. She's a woman who loves dogs, likes to play Wii and works part-time at Tim Horton's. She also has Down Syndrome. It doesn't and shouldn't define her. He's a teenager who loves to play The Sims and likes watching baseball. He wants to go to college after graduation. He also has Autism, but it doesn't define him.
I have so much more to learn.

My Experience With Special Olympics- Thank You, Eunice Kennedy Shriver

2009-08-15T11:54:00.000-07:00

I've been working with children and adults with disabilities for 10 years now. I was in college and looking to pad my resume when I applied for a job at a group home that 8 people with mental retardation or developmental disabilities called home. My first day was filled with tasks that I never thought I would do and people that I never really knew existed. After that day, I called my boyfriend and said, "I really don't know if I can do this!" I told myself to give it a month.

I'm so glad I didn't quit after that first day or even week. I began to learn that each of those residents weren't simply defined by their label of "Down Syndrome" or "Cerebral Palsy", but were individuals. They each had their own personalities, likes, dislikes and quirks. They had bad days and good days, just like me.

Working in that group home, I got my first taste of Special Olympics. You don't know what it's all about until you've experienced a competition first-hand. It's a seriously big deal to the athletes that participate.

Special Olympics has afforded people with disabilities the opportunity, many for the very first time in their lives, to participate in an individual or team sport. They have fans in the stands. Some events even have cheerleaders. Competition can be serious, but everyone has fun.

It's amazing to watch a person who rarely interacts and smiles even more infrequently, listen to applause and simply light up. It's wonderful to watch athletes slap each other five and cheer just for finishing.

Back then I didn't know about the founder of Special Olympics, Eunice Kennedy Shriver, who passed away this month. She was a pioneer during a time where people with disabilities were segregated, thrown into institutions for the rest of their lives. People were essentially stored in warehouses. It was shameful. But this woman, Eunice Shriver, used her money, her connections and her generous spirit to make a difference. A difference that will last and that has made an impact on how everyone views people with disabilities; as people with abilities too.

The Special Olympics Creed

"Let me win; But if I cannot win; Let me be brave in the attempt."

The Logistics of an Outing- Getting out of the house with my kids and my sanity

2009-08-06T18:30:00.000-07:00

I like going to places that I'm familiar with. A comfortable restaurant where I know what's good and what's not. A theater where I know where the restrooms are. I like my job where everyone finally knows my name. (No, I am not the bartender at Cheers.)

I like familiarity, routine, plans. All of the things I so rarely have now. I know I sound completely boring. I'm really not though. Really.

That's all in the past. I think Someone Else looked at my life that was carved out in a tiny, little niche and knew what was best for me. That's when I got pregnant for the second time. He is my little bundle of unpredictability.

I admit I didn't go out of the house much when C was first born. I had an excuse. It was winter in the midwest and it was freezing out. Then the weather started warming up and I had no excuse.

I had to get out of the house. I needed fresh air. I needed groceries.

The thought of taking my 20 month old and newborn anywhere by myself freaked me out. I know, I know some experienced mom is laughing at me right now. But the sheer logistics of a trip gave me a headache. Do I put B on a leash? Do I need a double stroller? How does this bjorn work? Maybe the kids shouldn't outnumber me. Where do I put B in a grocery cart if C's seat rides on top?

I have to hand it to you ladies with more than 2 young children. We were at the zoo last week and I saw a mom with two kids in a double stroller, a baby in a front carrier and a child by the hand. If I had had a hat, I would have taken it off to her.

Maybe I should have saluted her?

Summer Reading

2009-08-04T10:40:00.000-07:00

I love reading and always have. How do I read anything with two young kids, you ask? I'm a strategic reader! I read when I'm feeding Carter and I read in the park during my lunch break. I read when Brady watches Elmo and when the little tyrant doesn't force me to watch too! Never more than a few pages at a time, but at least I get my fix! These are not all current books, but I'm making my way through the library shelves slowly, but surely.

Here are some of my summer favorites:

Songs of the Humpback Whale- Jodi Picoult
I love Jodi Picoult and became a fan after the first book I read written by her which was My Sister's Keeper. I am slowly making my way through all of her wonderful books and this one was no exception. It's a story about a family going through turmoil. The father is consumed with his work and not his daughter or his wife. After a fight, the mother and daughter take off and find themselves somewhere completely unexpected, but exactly what they need. It's told in five voices which I love. This is a must read.

The Year of Fog- Michelle Richmond
This book was recommended to me by the website What Should I Read Next? when I typed in Jodi Picoult's name. It's about a photographer who is engaged to a man with a little girl. One day while walking on the beach with the woman, the little girl disappears. This woman never gives up the search either out of guilt or love, or both. It's beautifully written. As I read it, I could almost taste the saltiness of the ocean because her words were so clear and riveting.

The Dive from Clausen's Pier- Ann Packer
This book is about the dramatic changes in a young woman's life when her boyfriend gets seriously injured during a day of fun at the pier. She has to make a difficult choice whether to move on with her life or stay and take care of him.

Me & Emma- Elizabeth Flock
I can't tell you how much I loved this book. It's narrated by a child named Carrie whose life has changed dramatically since her father's death. She now suffers from daily abuse from her step-father and the only solace in her life is her sister, Emma. The story delves into the sisters' past and their current adventures and injustices. This is an unforgettable book.

The Memory Keeper's Daughter- Kim Edwards
This book was mesmerizing. If you've seen the TV movie, it doesn't do the book justice. It's a novel about a perfect couple who are expecting a baby. When the wife delivers, she unexpectedly delivers twins. Her husband, a doctor, tells her that one of the twins had died when in fact, she was born with Down Syndrome. He sends the baby with Down Syndrome off with a nurse to be taken to an institution. It's the story of the struggles all three main characters face as they live with the lie the doctor has told.

If anyone has read them or has suggestions for me, I'm always looking for book suggestions!

Leigh Anne

My Two Very Different Boys

2009-07-30T10:20:00.001-07:00

When I was pregnant with with my second I kept thinking about how I was short-changing his older brother. I kept wondering how I could possibly love another child as much as I fiercely loved my first. I don't know why, but when I pictured the new baby in my mind's eye, I saw a clone of B. That assumption couldn't be more off.

C was different from his brother from the minute he was born. This baby loves to eat whereas Brady almost had to be force-fed. C just seems happy to be here and is always ready to smile and we had to work to get a smile out of B. They're just two different boys.

Now that they are interacting more and more, I've realized that I didn't short-change B, I gave him a friend for life. When we hear C on the baby monitor, B tries to beat me to his bedroom just so he can be first to say, "Hi, brother!"

When I turn my back on the two of them (just for a second!), I often turn around to find B very gently rubbing C's head or just holding his little hand. C often just smiles at the sight of B.

I think the unexpected introduction of this little baby has not only taught me a few things, but has taught my first-born a different kind of love. Even at his young age, it seems that he's learned a little bit of empathy and a new kind of affection, not only how to receive it, but how to offer it.

I am so looking forward to them growing up together so I can see their relationship evolve.

Ideal Sibling Spacing

2009-07-27T11:46:00.000-07:00

So I'm at work and a coworker approaches me with a sympathetic look on her face. "So how's life treating you? Busy, busy I bet. Having two that close together has to be hard." She goes on to say in a rather pretentious tone that she and her husband are perfectly happy with their 10 month old daughter, but have been discussing the ideal spacing between siblings. Then she launches into claims that a 3-5 year gap is ideal for physical and emotional development.

1) I've read the same studies. I read them in my office when I suspected that I might be pregnant and I read them after I realized that I was indeed pregnant. I cried when I read them because I was sure that I had irreversibly screwed up not one, but both of my children.

2) This woman obviously knows that I have boys who are less than 2 years apart. Otherwise she wouldn't have cornered me with that overly concerned look on her face. So is she trying to tell me my kids are going to be damaged? To make me feel guilty? Was she trying to make herself feel superior that she hadn't gotten pregnant unexpectedly like me? I just couldn't figure out the point to the conversation.

3) Personally, I don't believe any of the rubbish about ideal sibling spacing. I think the way a child reacts and behaves in relation to the introduction of a new sibling has to do with more than age. It has to do with whether or not they feel secure at home and with their parents. It has to do with their temperament and personality. It has to do with the way their parents treat them and the way the new addition is treated. I've know 4 year olds who completely rebel at the thought of a new sibling and I've known 18 month olds that take to the idea with no problem.

I say whatever works for your family, works. No questions, no judgements. I also say that the coworker who brought up this subject should be very careful not to throw stones, I found out I was pregnant with C not long after B turned 11 months old. The universe works in mysterious ways.

More Evil Thoughts

2009-07-27T08:42:00.001-07:00

Do you think I can sell my husband on Craigslist?

Evil Thoughts and My Trashy Patio Furniture

2009-07-24T09:38:00.000-07:00

Okay, I don't have any idea if anyone is reading this, but this blog is helping me get my evil thoughts out my head and on the Internet where they belong.

As I mentioned, my husband has been working on garage cabinets since April. A little background- my grandpa gave him metal cabinets so he could store garage items in them. I thought that this would be a quick, cheap project. Boy, was I wrong! So far he has:

Cleaned them
Sanded them
PRIMED them
Taped them off (because he wanted to bottoms to be black and the fronts to be gray) ????
Painted them
Painted them again because he didn't like the first color

I just found the receipts for this little endeavor. All in all, he has spent around $400. Not only on paint, but on a new air compressor and other supplies. I'm pretty sure we already have an air compressor. I think he uses my general confusion relating to home improvement projects to buy things he doesn't need, but really, really wants.

All the while, my patio furniture has deteriorated to a state in which the neighborhood birds are currently using the stuffing for their nests. Glad I could be helpful to nature. But now we can't get new furniture because we spent all of our money on the stupid cabinets!

Whew, I feel better! Evil thoughts- dispersed!

Playing Favorites

2009-07-24T08:54:00.001-07:00

My husband is generally a pretty good guy. I say generally because he is currently spending more time painting garage cabinets than he is spending with us. He primed them for God's sake! Some nights I wish he'd just cuddle up to those freaking cabinets instead of trying to make nice to me. Gees, I just want to sleep!! Anyway, I digress.

When I got pregnant with C, I kept wondering if I could love him as much as I loved my first baby. The short answer is yes, of course I do. I wonder if my husband ever had that thought.

When C was born, things were rough. And it was like my husband said, "I call B! He's mine!" He spent tons of time with him, playing and having fun. It was okay to an extent because I needed time with the baby and B needed time to let off steam. But I started to resent the fact that in all reality, he "called" the easier kid. B was fun, interactive and best of all, could walk. I was stuck with this new baby who screamed for various unknown reasons while the two of them went to the basement to play.

Of course, things are easier now that C is almost 6 months old and we tend to divvy out responsibilities more fairly. I, of course, end up with more and my dear husband gets to work on his cabinets in the garage ALONE. What I wouldn't give to run the sweeper without one kid on my hip.

Next time the boys are acting up, I'm going to "call" the cat and we're going to go play in the basement. Alone.

Why Can't Some People Live Forever?

2009-07-24T08:30:00.000-07:00

I was talking to a good friend at work yesterday and she told me that her mother, who just celebrated her 90th birthday, was in the hospital and was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. My friend looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, "I'm just not ready for her to go."

I completely understand how she feels. I have never had a wonderful relationship with my mother, but am lucky enough to have both sets of my grandparents still alive and kicking. My dad's parents even watch my boys several times a week. I thank my lucky stars that my children are able to experience their love as I did when I was little.

Other than my children, my grandparents are my favorite people. They're the ones I want to talk to when I'm down and the ones who always make me feel better. I love walking into my their familiar houses and hearing my grandpa smile and jokingly say, "Who are you?" as he has for as long as I can remember.

My mom's parents are in their 80's and my dad's parents are in their 60's and 70's. Every year I tell myself, they're not too old, people live to be in their 90's nowadays. When my grandma was in the hospital last year and I wasn't sure what was wrong with her, I remember frantically driving there and repeating to myself exactly what my friend had said, "I'm not ready. I'm not ready."

It may seem selfish, but I'm not ready for them to go yet. I doubt that I'll ever be ready.

Mommy Guilt Times Infinity

2009-07-22T13:47:00.001-07:00

My two year old started a new daycare this week. It was awful and painful and once again, I wished that I could manage to stay home with him so I wouldn't have to hear the heart-wrenching cries when I leave.

B is very reluctant and shy around strangers so I had to really think this decision through. It took him a good month before he stopped crying when I dropped him off at his previous daycare so we toured several times and I tried to talk about "going to school" with lots of enthusiasm.

We showed up and the toddler group was already in the cafeteria getting ready for breakfast and his regular teacher wasn't there yet. I didn't want him screaming while the teacher was trying to pass out cereal so I sat on one of the tiny chairs and watched. Of course, B was stuck to me like glue and refused to eat much. Finally, his teacher got there and everyone went back to the classroom...including me.

I stayed for a little while until he readily gave up his security blanket (or should I say blankets) and his paci (yes, my two year old still has a pacifier) and then I got ready to go. He must have seen good-bye in my eyes so he began to cling to my legs. I told him I loved him and handed him over to Miss Lori and headed out. With tears streaming down my face. I could hear him crying and yelling, "Mama!!!!" down the hall and then...silence. Did he pass-out from being heart-broken??? No, I heard him say something to the teacher. He was okay. I took a deep breath and left.

Of course, I called several times that day and probaly got my name added to some secret "crazy mom" list, but I had to know how he was. "He's playing in the gym" or "He's doing great" were the responses. I felt better knowing he was okay, but I still wondered if he thought I'd abandoned him at a strange place. I wondered if he wondered if I was coming back.

I still felt full of guilt. Why did I have to do this to the both of us? I hate it so much, but so far I haven't been able to figure our finances out without my salary. It felt good knowing he was having a good time, but the guilt remains. I'm sure it does with all working moms.

Now I get to dread next week! And the next...and when C goes to daycare!

I'm So Tired!

2009-07-22T09:32:00.000-07:00

Today I was getting my mandatory morning coffee and just before I took a sip I realized that it wasn't the Coffeemate sitting on the counter that I had just poured into my cup, but Similac. I think I might be a little tired!

Baby Gear I Love!

2009-07-21T12:13:00.001-07:00

Much of the baby gear that I love with my second child, I didn't even know about with my first. Here are a few things I love!

My HugaMonkey Sling- so easy and so affordable!
The Itzbeen Timer -because I couldn't for the life of me remember when I fed the baby last!
Bumbo seat with tray- it's where I feed C now instead of the high-chair
My Boppy Newborn Lounger
The Baby Whisperer Books- I use the shush/pat method on C every night! It really works.
Baby Bjorn- of course! It's the easiest front baby carrier I could find and I've had three!
Prince Lionheart Diaper Depot- because we had to put C's changing pad and diapers on a dresser. This keeps things organized.
The Graco iMonitor Duo Multichild baby monitor- this thing montiors two babies in two seperate rooms and works great. I can set a timer to listen to C for 1 minute and then listen to B for 30 seconds so I don't miss a thing.
The Kiddopotamous SwaddleMe blankets- I love these and have several sizes for my growing boy. This is the only thing that gave me a more than 2 hours of sleep at night.
My stability ball- C doesn't like to be rocked. When he is really upset, he MUST be bounced, preferably on the stability ball. His eyes start rolling back in his head and he is in heaven!

And this isn't really gear, but this is my new favorite baby gift. It's a baby block with the name, birthdate, weight, length, etc on it. They are adorable and so personal!

Oops Baby - My Journey into the Land of Unexpected Pregnancy

2009-07-21T09:08:00.000-07:00

Pregnancy, in general, freaks me out. The idea that there is a person growing inside my body was foreign and bizarre to me. I wanted the baby, but the pregnancy part was hard. Not to mention all of the unwanted, weird attention pregnant women get.

I was glad to have my body back after I gave birth to my first baby. I was even relieved to be past that tiny, helpless, unpredictable baby stage. My baby was now a fun, interactive 11 month old little boy. I was, at the time, busily planning his first birthday party.

I was so busy that I didn’t even realize that my period was late. It hit me on the way to work one day. I was three days late and I hadn’t been this late, well, in a long time. Now the question of the moment was: To Test or Not to Test? Peeing on a stick was a surefire way to jump-start Aunt Flo so I stopped at a drugstore on my way into my office.

The morning went by so slowly. I got nothing done because I was too busy Googling phrases like ‘two under two’ and 'siblings close together'. If I was pregnant, it would mean my children would be less than two years apart. Definitely not my plan!

If I was going to test at work, I had to be strategic about it. I waited until the lunch rush cleared most of the building out and I went to the a rarely used bathroom at the other side of the building. I went into the stall and I peed. Then I prayed. I counted to 150 and then glanced at the test. My knees almost gave out. I say almost because I still had enough sense about me not to kneel on the bathroom floor. I started sobbing and I just couldn’t stop. I wrapped the test up and took it with me to my office, hoping not to run into anyone I knew. Don't ask me why I took that test with me! Maybe I was hoping one of those lines would disapear.

Anyway, my husband and I were in shock for quite a while. Apparently condoms and charting hadn't worked for us. The pregnancy was difficult and very different than my first. I had a subchorionic hematoma in my uterus that was close enough to the baby to cause danger. I started throwing up and ended up in the hospital for dehydration. My HCG levels were so high that my doctor recommended additional scanning to rule out genetic problems.

And at 20 weeks, we were told we having a baby girl. We named her Addison. 3 weeks later the doctor found her penis. Off to Kohl’s I went to return all my pink and purple baby clothes. It looked like I was having a healthy baby boy.

In addition to those issues, my doctor found an irregular heartbeat with the Doppler at 30 weeks. The baby was diagnosed with premature atrial contractions, but no structural heart deformities were found. He had to be monitored closely throughout the pregnancy and at the birth to ensure his rhythms didn’t become too fast or slow.

Throughout the pregnancy I was withdrawn. I didn’t feel good physically or mentally. I felt so guilty because I thought I was stealing my first child's babyhood from him. I dreaded the comments from coworkers and friends. I had literally just told some coworkers we were waiting until B was in preschool before trying for another baby. Some things just don't go according to plan, I guess. What makes people ask questions like, "Well, you know how that happens, don't you?" I vowed to never make or even think annoying comments like that.

I searched endlessly for resources for married women who were expecting unplanned babies and were feeling not so positively about it. The articles I found were either aimed at teens, unmarried women or women who were ecstatic about their new babies. Talking to the girls on my message board helped tremendously. I could be honest with them when I couldn’t with my own family because of the guilt I had. What kind of woman resented her unborn baby? My family was more excited than I was. I just couldn’t get excited. Then I worried that my negative feelings would translate into additional problems for the baby. I just knew that all of problems with the pregnancy and his heart were rooted in the idea that he knew he wasn't planned.

After C was born things were a blur. I got a spinal headache from the epidural and was out of commission for a little while. Things were really rough. C was colicky and B was clingy- a bad combination. After a while, I finally began to settle down and enjoy my baby. When C gave me that first big, gummy smile, the cloud around me began to lift.

It’s taken time and a conscious effort on my part, but right now things are good. I’ve learned not to sweat the small stuff and my routines literally save my sanity. I wouldn’t give up C for the world. I’ve learned that both my boys are individuals and I love them in their own ways. They are so different, it's amazing. B and C are good buddies even though they had a rough beginning as I bet all siblings do at some point. They make each other giggle more than I ever could. C is a healthy, typical 5 month old, but still has to be monitored by a cardiologist every few months.

I’m so thankful that C made the decision for me and chose to come into my world when he did. I truly believe that this was meant to be and all the pieces finally fit.

Connecting With Other Moms: How a Message Board Kept Me Sane

2009-07-20T10:20:00.000-07:00

Back when I was pregnant with my first baby, B, I was looking for other newly pregnant women to connect with. I finally found a home on BabyCenter's message board forum.

Anyway, I met these women from all around the country. We were all due with our first baby in June or July and that meant we were essentially going through our pregnancies at the same time. We could ask each other completely embarrassing questions (TMI) or complain about our unsympathetic husbands (or DH- Dear Husband). We even dealt with some tragedy when one of us lost her baby shortly after birth. We were all completely anonymous and none of us shared too much personal information as we were on a public site, but we were still able to support one another.

After our babies were born many of us continued to post on the board about milestones, behavior and mainly sleep or the lack thereof. At this point, we all had feelings of familiarity and had known each other for almost a year and a half- during and after our pregnancies. So we decided to go with a private board on Proboards.

Around 30 of us went over to Proboards and as a group, we decided not to accept any additional members. We have around 25 regular posters and it's something that I check on everyday. We've all gotten to know each other really well. And now that we are on a private site and we know everyone better, we feel so much more free to share personal information. We talk about our kids' development, ask advice, complain about our mothers-in-law, post pics of our kids, just about anything you can think of.

Some of the other wonderful things we do on the board are:

Keep a Random Acts of Kindness (RAK) list of names, e-mails, addresses and birthdays so that if one of us felt like sending a card to another member, we could.
We post our extra diaper, clothing or formula coupons and send it to the first person who claims it so they don't go to waste.
We have cyber Christmas and birthday parties where we draw the children's names and buy a gift for them. We send them through the mail.
The support that these women offer is amazing. Not only do we support each other through all the good and bad times and feel safe enough to talk about our family issues, we help each other out in other ways. We have a group of very talented girls on the board and basically if you need advice, you know where to look. We have several graphic artists, real estate agents, photographers, nurses that are willing to help.
We even have meet-ups once or twice a year where anyone who can go, will visit an amusement park or another child-friendly place. It's so nice to be able to meet these great women in person and meet the adorable children.

The title of this blog is How a Message Board Kept Me Sane so I guess I should get to that part. I became pregnant with my second baby quite unexpectedly when B was 11 months old. I was devastated. I couldn't imagine having two children under the age of two because I just figured out how to handle one!

I wasn't the first girl on the board to get pregnant again. There were several others, planned and unplanned. They were actually the first people I told about my shock! Well, right after I told my disbelieving husband. They were so supportive. The girls who had already had their second babies were honest about how hard it was, but told me they wouldn't change it for the world. Of course I didn't believe them, but they kept trying to convince me and just talking about my feelings made me feel better. When no one threw my a baby shower, I began getting packages in the mail. All in all I received over 25 gifts from all around the country, a cyber-shower, to welcome my new baby boy. The cyber-shower was really a turning point in my pregnancy. Just having new baby stuff around made me a little more excited. When I had C, I even texted one of the girls from the board so she could post his picture.

We've all become really good friends even though some have never met in person. They are a constant base of support for me and I hope I'm the same to them. I'd advise any new mom to join a message board. You might not get the same connections that I ended up with, but you might end up with a whole new group of friends.

Enthusiastically Yours,

Leigh Anne

Freelance Writing- Can I Make Any Money?

2009-07-20T08:16:00.000-07:00

So I'm trying to make some extra money. So far I've sold several items using Craigslist- people love baby items in great condition and boy, do I have a bunch of those!

When I was searching for information on Craigslist, I consistently was taken to several internet resources like Suite 101 and Associated Content. After reading some of the information on those sites, I began to think that it might be something I could do too. I mean I have an opinion and have learned all kinds of things from being a parent so why not write it about if I can get paid? Here's what I've learned so far:

Associated Content

This was the first site that I tried and here's how it's set up.

Writers can write a wide variety of articles, including those in first person and fiction or poetry.
Writers submit their articles and can choose different rights options. Exclusive, non-exclusive and display only. Exclusive gives AC the rights to the article so you can't publish your article anywhere else and it can't be removed from the site by the author. Non-exclusive allows you to publish the article elsewhere, but it can't be removed from the site by the author. Both the exclusive and non-exclusive options require that the article hasn't been published somewhere else. Display only is for articles that might have been published elsewhere.
Writers then choose how they want to earn money. Exclusive and non-exclusive articles are eligible for up-front payment after a review which can range from $3 up. Typically fiction is not eligible for upfront payments. Every article is eligible for automatic performance payouts which means that you make money based on the number of times someone views the page. It's 1.50 per 1,000 page views.
Writers are paid through Pay-Pal. So far I have made around $5.00, but I only have two articles up.

Suite 101

Writers have to complete an application and submit actual writing samples. This process took about a day and I was approved.
Articles must be original, not published elsewhere and Suite 101 retains rights for one year. Articles can't be in the first-person and they don't accept fiction.
Writers are required to write 10 articles every 3 months.
Suite 101 is particular about how they prefer the articles are set up and offer learning modules so that authors can comply with the guidelines.
Every article is reviewed by an editor and many are flagged for different reasons before they are published. Personally, I found this the most helpful part of the process. I've never written anything that should be optimized for keyword searches and the editing process really helped me to learn what that was about.
Authors are paid via Pay-Pal and money is made through revenue sharing which means that Google places ads on the article site and every time a reader clicks on the ad, the writer earns a portion of that money.
I have 4 articles on this site and haven't earned any money yet, although I just set it up this weekend. The more articles you have on the site, the better chance you have of making money.

Constant Content

This site is set-up a a little differently. Rather than use the number of page views or revenue sharing to pay authors, this site allows content buyers to review articles and purchase them.
Every article is reviewed by an editor and they don't accept first person accounts or fiction. They want unique and original articles only.
Constant Content sells articles for usage purchase, unique purchase or full-rights purchase. Usage means that it can be purchased for use, but someone else can buy it too. Articles that have been published elsewhere can only be sold through usage purchase. Unique purchase is when the purchaser buys the article, but is prevented from printing the article in its entirety. Full-rights means the purchaser buys the article and has the right to change the information or even take credit for it.
The author decides how much to charge for usage, unique or full-rights purchase.
If you have the right content, you could make some money on this site. The problem is finding the buyer who wants what you have written. I have one article and haven't made any money on here.

I think the key for Suite 101 and Associated Content is to find something that people are searching for on the internet and make sure your keywords are up to par. That's been my problem so far. I'm finding it hard to have my article show up on the first few pages of a Google search which means no one can find my writing and I make no money!

So that's my journey into the world of freelance writing. Who knows if it's a waste of time or not, but I have to say everytime I get a page view, it's a little thrill! If you're so inclined, here is one of my AS articles on raising two kids under two.

The Joys of Toddlerhood and the Weird Things I Have to Say

2009-07-19T11:24:00.000-07:00

This is a list of weird things I find myself saying to my toddler day in and day out.

We don't wipe boogers on our brother.
Bye bye pee!!
It's not nice to squeeze our brother's head.
We don't wipe boogers on the cat.
No more Elmo. Elmo is taking a nap.
Let's try to leave the kitty some fur. He might get cold. (My son is a very enthusiastic petter.)
No sitting on your brother.
Mommies don't have pee-pees.

Just a few of my daily mom sayings!

Enthusiastically Yours

2009-07-19T11:21:00.000-07:00

After having my second baby within two years, my doctor advised me to find something to do for myself. So here I am. I'm not quite sure why I chose blogging, but I do know that it's going to be an interesting journey to say the least. I'll be here, typing out my thoughts while the boys are napping, sleeping or otherwise occupied. So...hi!

Enthusiastically Yours,

Leigh Anne